the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
