Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
