why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
