either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
