is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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