dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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