I heard we made out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
