I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
