his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize