Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
