...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
