Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we have officially lost it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
