just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize