it was like eating out sand paper
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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