I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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