Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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