I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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