I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
babies were throwing up all over the place
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
