I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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