You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
