Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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