I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
