"it" just moved
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
