I bet he comes in French.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
