I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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