i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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