He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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