Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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