Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
