I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
