There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
