the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
