So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
