babies were throwing up all over the place
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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