Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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