I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
