i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
