So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
