Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
