Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize