I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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