K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think my mom watched the whole time
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
