thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my liver is dry heaving
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
