I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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