I wish I could teleport
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
