She's JV to your varsity
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize