I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She even gives head with a lisp.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
