she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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