office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize