I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize