He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
