if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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