You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize