it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
third nipple confirmed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize