if you like me you must not know who I am
Swine flu. Run for my life!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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